Post Your Reviews Here

[matt9eruk]

This is a nice little thread where you can post a review of anything that takes your fancy. This is open to band members as well as fans and friends. The prize for the most amusing is a hearty handshake from myself and possibly the others lol ( You lucky devils )

well get posting

[Keely]

Matt, I'm hungry! now where's my handshake!!

[matt9eruk]

Matt Niner reviews: The Ebola Virus

In a time where Influenza and Salmonella rule the roost, infections today need a gimmick. Ebola combines liquefying bodily organs with severe pain and death.
When asked why the violence was necessary for the Ebola virus' image no response was given, i later was told that this was due to the virus' inability to do so.
It sounds horrific in theory and sounds even worse in reality. Local geese, swans and tapirs are still haunted by the screams.
This is a vile vile release and should be banned.
Avoid like the plague.

0/10

[lithiumproject]

Lithium_Project's review: Foamy ("Our lord and master")

Foamy is a Venom filled,hate feuled, loud-mouthed, obscene, fast-talking squirrel whose scathing and often expletive-ridden protests include (but are not limited to) the following:

-People who "try to be something they aren't".
-The World Trade Organization and its tyrannical stronghold on global funds and wealth distribution not limited to a perpetual struggle for the impoverished
-Marketing techniques used by certain coffee shop establishments (by use of a satire mocking a fictitious coffee house known as "Star-Shmucks").
-The "Fat-kins" diet.
-People who sue the fast food industry (he cites the fictitious McDoonald's chain) because they are "fat bastards" who are irresponsible in their eating habits.
-Metallica, for bringing about the downfall of Napster, a file-sharing service.
-eBay auctions, creeps, and panties
-Bagels
-Nut tossing and the Amplified bible

Fomay is God he is leader of the Foamy card cult like (think Pokemon with battle axes) along with his friend Pilz-E (a squirrel whose insanity, paranoia and general hyperactivity can be attributed to taking too much medication; so much so that it's a wonder he isn't dead).

Enjoy you fat f**ks

10/10

[lithiumproject]

Lithium_Project's review: Radiators

In buildings, a radiator is a heating device, which is warmed by hot water being pumped into it from a water heater. Hot water enters at one end and rises to the top of the radiator. As it gives out its heat, it cools and sinks to the bottom of the radiator and then is forced out of a pipe at the other end. If there is air trapped inside the radiator, then the water cannot rise to the top, and only the bottom area gets hot. A bleed screw near the top of the radiator allows the trapped air to be 'bled' from the system, and thus restore correct operation. Often radiators located on upper floors will accumulate more air than ones on lower flows as the air will tend to rise to the topmost point in the system. These may have to be bled more often. Usually radiators are bled once or twice per season, or as needed. Another reason to exclude air is to minimise corrosion of the steel pressed radiators. The air near a radiator is heated and produces a convection current drawing in cold air to heat. If set up improperly they can make loud banging noises like someone hammering on the pipes. This is due to the pipes rubbing on surrounding surfaces while expanding and contracting due to heat changes. Stereotypical radiators (as pictured) are no longer common in new construction. The current trend in radiant heating is towards floor heating, where the hot water is circulated under the entire floor of each room in a building.

They also never keep you warm cost a fortune to fix and are about as useful as a one legged chav in an arse kicking contest (fortunatly i have two)

2/10

[matt9eruk]

Matt Niner reviews: Toilet Duck

Today i pose the question. Toilet Duck, Useful Household Substance or Tool in promoting cruelty to our winged water loving compatriots?

Indeed it must me addressed. The packaging is harmless enough with a "cute" duck appearing at the top of the bottle, however this loving scene soon is blemished by the fact you can swivel the head of the duck clean off, and inside is there blood? NO NO there is nothing but harmful cleaning agents.

My point is that no good can come from this, yes it makes the bowl sparkle like celebrity teeth but at what price. It promotes violence against the humble duck as impressionable young ones may try to swivel the head from a real duck and how does this teach biology to youngsters who will think that the blood of a duck is actually a toxic substance.

Toilet Duck is the work of the devil.

FLY FLY THOU WINGED WRETCH!

0.666 / 10

[lithiumproject]

Matt Niner + Lithium_Project review : The Hundred Years War

The hundred years war starts *through the magic of time travel* hundred years war finishes with the outcome that all French people are thingys, these values hold true to this day, god bless britain

Medievil BBC news....tonight war, war, war and more war!

8/10

[grandmasterflash]

My review is on a cult internet miracle known only as "the retarded animal babies".
As the name states these animal juveniles are thouroughly sanely challenged.
But hey still happen to find their way through,:
The Alphabet
A Magic Fair
Show and Hell
A giant TV b
A Game of dungeons and dragons (with a litle help from mary-j)
A f**ky thanksgiving
a christmas special (yes there has to be one in there)
Nightclubbin (EROS stylin)
The internet (virtual reality style)
Compete in an Ozfest style contest as "f**k"
A st patricks day special (happy saint paddys)
A starwars revenge of the sith special

The characters include
[glow=pink,2,300]DOG[/glow]
A.k.A- The f**king f**ker
Loves- Sex
Disloves- Anything not to do with sex
Quote-" This sucks....This sucks the gay right out of Liberace's anus"
"Clerics don't breakdance , its against there religion f**kwad"
"What THE f**k is a Gary Gygax"
"9 means no in german, but ill f**k er neway"

[glow=red,2,300]CAT[/glow]
A.k.A. The Purple thingy
Loves- The Red Rider BB Gun, being DM
Disloves- His drunken passed out stepfather
Quote-Dog- "i rolled a 1 what happened"
Cat-"you chopped your nuts of, and because of bunnys spel, your happy about it"
"cool your purple esey"

[glow=blue,2,300] Bunny[/glow]
A.K.A. Infinite Lad
Loves- Not dieing
Disloves- Dieing in every episode
Quote- "I'd take him out with these brass knuckles.... but i dont have anr REAL knuckles"
"Y do the boobies taunt us so"

[glow=yellow,2,300]Hamster[/glow]
A.K.A. Bruce Willis Man
Loves- Bruce Willis, Green
Disloves- Not being able to f**k bruce willis,
Quote: "No sexing yet"
"Mather nature died in here"

[glow=red,2,300]Donkey[/glow]
A.K.A. (no super hero alias)
Loves- Fluffernutters, Pants, Pelicans , Potatoes, Satan, Feet, Dolphin wigs, Dildo shaped twigs and 7 brown thingyes
Disloves- Sanity by the looks of it
Quote: Donkey" This place is all white, like the master race."
Dog"Master race sucks"
Cat"donkey dont lick my stepdads mattress, he's 90%ass you know"
Donkey"I cant help it, it tastes like count chocula"
"I brought 3 pertaters, a bucket fuller pelicans......And satan."
"D to the Onkey, talkin like a honkey,
Up 2 the mic yall, gettin real funky,
Im' extra chunkey
I shock the monkey
E is for pants yall, Ass's smellin skunky"


So as you can see from the episode guide and character summary, theres is about the same amount of sanity in it as a bag full of mong dribble.

My Rating 11/4.5

P.S. RAB PWNAGE> Foamy

[jade]

my review of www.wearescientists.com
quite possibly the best band website in the world ever!
i believe their recent ability to sell out venues super quick n be nme chart number 1 is all because of this website and chris (Chris is the best member n u should all praise him as your leader as he has a moustache and glasses!)
I cant get my head round how huge they r now n i will miss just wanderin into various london clubs, but i cant help but be overwhelmed with affection n god like worship to their web page that will soon be signed to virgin records n have its own ep out.